


Half blood-Moon

by Liageth



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Child Abuse, Eating Disorders, F/M, Female Severus Snape, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Lily Evans Potter is a Good Friend, Love Triangles, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor Tom Riddle/Severus Snape, Not Beta Read, Professor Tom Riddle, Protective Remus Lupin, School Dances, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Severus Snape-centric, Sirius Black is a Little Shit, Trauma, Yule Ball (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28002720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liageth/pseuds/Liageth
Summary: Lily Evans finally accepted James Potter’s strategies to win her heart, but with one condition.“You and your friends are not allowed to bully Sev anymore, and if you do anything. I repeat, anything, to make her uncomfortable, I will break up with you and I’m not going to accept your advantages ever again”With this, all the Marauders agreed to be at least decent towards the Slytherin girl, but while they try to, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black find themselves looking at the quiet girl a little bit too much.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 117
Kudos: 278





	1. News

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic there is no war, but blood suppremacy and stupid stuff still exist.  
> Maybe a little bit ooc

Nobody understood how quickly things changed for all of them. But they were pleased with it.

  
Lily Evans finally accepted James Potter’s strategies to win her heart, but with one condition.

  
“You and your friends are not allowed to bully Sev anymore, and if you do anything. I repeat, anything, to make her uncomfortable, I will break up with you and I’m not going to accept your advantages ever again” Her voice was cold and there was no doubt of how serious she was about the subject.

  
James agreed, of course he did. But it was difficult for him to convince his friends, or more specifically, to convince Sirius Black.

  
The older heir of the Black’s house had something against the Slytherin that no one quite understood. James didn’t like the girl because he thought she told Lily bad things about him, she did, but mainly because James was an arse to the black-haired girl. And, for Severine Snape, nobody was good enough for her dearest friend. But Sirius Black had something completely different against the dark witch.

  
Something that not even he could comprehend. He despised her, although, that could be too harsh to say, but he disliked her. He hated the way her ugly nose was always pointing him, the way she walked trying to hide herself, for her greasy hair, for her ridiculous second handed clothes that make her look even uglier, for her horrendous face and for her hideous complexion. He grew angry every time she skipped lunch, every time she didn’t defend herself when someone was mocking her, and that only make him angrier because she never hesitated in attack the Marauders when they played their pranks. He hated her in a way so complicated he was obsessed with her.  
That’s the reason why he was so pissed when James asked the three of them to support him on this. Peter was a little bit annoyed, but he agreed, as he always did. In the other hand, Remus was happier than ever.

  
“Finally!” he said and everyone turned to look at him “I’d constantly told you that you should stop doing those pranks to Severine, she’s a nice person when you actually talk to her”

  
“And when did you talk to her?” Sirius tone didn’t hide his annoyance.

  
“At the library, we usually study together. We help each other”

  
“Just the two of you?”

  
“Wha- No! Of course not, Lily is the one who told me to join them. They study together three times a week, and I often make my way to their table.” James’ eyebrow arched at the mention of his current girlfriend, a little jealous of the situation Remus got himself into without telling anyone.

  
“And why didn’t you tell us about this? You know I would join you to study if- “

  
“If Lily is there... I know, Prongs. But, in my defense, I had told you, actually I have asked all of you to join me at the library, but none of you wanted to go, and, the girls actually study there, they are not the top students in all their classes for nothing. And…”

  
“And?”

  
“I didn’t want to make Sev uncomfortable.”

  
A silence gathered in their room. It was late, they should be sleeping by this time. James thought the conversation ended at peace but Sirius choose to spoke.

  
“I don’t like it”

  
Three pair of eyes stared at him, not knowing what to say next, but as usual, Remus Lupin wanted to know what was wrong with his friend, so he asked softly “What you don’t like, Padfoot?”

  
“I thought we all hated her, now just because Evans asks, we have to suddenly befriend her?”

  
“We don’t have to be friends with her, Lily only-“

  
“Yes! That’s the problem! We always had been like this with Snivellin! And what will be next? Not pranking at all? What if Evans ask you that? Eh!?” Sirius knew he was not being fair, but he was angry. “And you are already being friends with her! You had lunch with her and Evans today! Didn’t you? And now Remus tell us he’s her friend! Just brilliant!” He violently stood up; his face was red of anger.

  
“Why are you so upset about this?” James’s tone was cold, few times they witness James being that serious, but that was usually bad news.

  
“Because I hate her! Can’t you see? She’s a dark witch! Just like my mother, just like any female family member, cold and ambitious”

  
James expression softened with the confession, but Remus’ hardened.

  
“I’m a dark creature too, Sirius”

  
“But you didn’t choose to be like this, Moony” James tried to put an arm around Remus’ shoulders, but he avoided it.

  
“Yes, you know that because you know me. Because I am your friend, you know nothing about Sev. She could be thinking the same about you, Padfoot. You tried to killed her last year with that prank during the full moon, she could hate me because of it too. But she didn’t and she had helped me with potion’s classes more that you could ever imagine.” He sighed, don’t wanting to continue the confrontation “Just… Just give her a chance, for James”

  
Sirius felt defeated so he just agreed, not really meaning it.

  
They went to sleep with a lot in their minds.

  
Next morning the Marauders found Lily Evans in the common room, it was funny how shy James acted near the red head. While they walked to the great hall James tried unsuccessfully hold the Gryffindor girl’s hand, in their back, Sirius almost laugh out loud because of the view.

  
They all tensed the moment they saw a tall black-haired girl waiting in the entrance of the great hall. Severine was hugging a book in her chest while her eyes searched her best friend in the crowd, when her big black eyes found Lily, she relaxed a little and started to walk towards her, but stopped when she saw her companions.

  
Snape decided to give her friend a hand sing and take her place in the Slytherin’s table. Lily knew they would talk later.

  
When the Gryffindors sat at the table Lupin couldn’t help but ask with a worried frown  
“Lily, is Sev alright?” he didn’t ask out loud, and tried to be as quiet as possible, so only Lily could hear the actual question. James was too busy laughing at Sirius about something, and Peter was too far away to hear anything.

  
“I don’t really know, Rems. Yesterday she looked okay, she even was friendly at James during lunch”

  
“Could you tell me if she needs help?” Lupin was actually worried about the girl. Lily watched Severine playing with her food while she was reading the book she was holding earlier.

  
Lily noticed how nobody paid attention to her, and then, she looked at Remus again, happy for how caring he was.

  
“I’m sorry, Rems, but I cannot do that. Sev doesn’t ask for help”


	2. Lily's inner thoughts and Remus fascination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter, I'm not completely happy with it but if you like it i will be

Lily noticed Severine acting weird almost immediately, she was her friend after all. She knew when she was happy and when she was sad, and especially when Severine Snape was obsessed with something, and in this moment, she was.

They couldn’t talk to each other during most of the day because Potter wanted Lily to become part of his friend group, so they sat together during classes with the other three boys near them, that wasn’t going to be a daily thing, she stated. Although she had many friends in Gryffindor to sit with, she especially enjoyed sitting with Severine the most, and sat with her whenever she had the chance, they were a team. So, it was difficult for Lily to watch Severine sitting alone during transfiguration, even though Sev wasn’t paying attention to the class at all, her black eyes piercing the book in her hands were hard to miss, even more so for McGonagall, who asked her something the moment she noticed, to her surprise Severine answered correctly, almost annoyed by the interruption of her reading. 

Severine didn’t have many friends, she only talked to a few classmates, like Remus or Alice, both of them were friendly to Sev at the beginning because Lily asked them to, but they quickly became friends. Remus and Sev surprisingly got along, they shared the same interests in books and classes, and both took arithmancy together, while everyone else preferred to take divination, including Lily. Alice on the other hand was a little bit scared of the Slytherin girl, Lily couldn’t comprehend why so she directly asked her.

“Is nothing against her, is just… I think she is so smart that she would think I’m an idiot if I ask her something”

Lily laughed, even if Alice was one year older than them and quite smart too, Severine made her feel like that ‘Sev is smart to the point it’s intimidating’ Lily thought. But they were friendly to each other, or at least the friendliest Sev could be with anyone but Lily.

But that’s it, those were the only ones Sev actually talked to outside her house.

In Slytherin things weren’t different, almost everyone ignored her, not wanting to be seen with a half blood, and Severine’s friendship with Lily didn’t make things easier for her in the snake pit, although a bunch of purebloods asked her to make their essays in certain classes, even they could see her brilliance. They paid of course.

Maybe the only one who actually talked to her was Sirius’ younger brother, Regulus. They weren’t friends per se, but they helped each other when necessary, or at least that was what Severin said. Lily didn’t buy it, the younger Black was clearly her friend, since for Lily friendship was exactly that, helping each other.

Sadly, for the redhead, she wasn’t able to see her friend during lunch as the Slytherin girl didn't show up. ‘She skipped it again’ she noticed. ‘This is the third time this week and it’s only Friday’

During mealtime James was talking enthusiastically

about his next quidditch game and how much he wanted her to go watch him play, of course she agreed.

Lily Evans felt bad about what she was doing, she did like James, but not quite so. He exasperated her, always trying to impress her in the most ridiculous ways, it turned out to be cute at a certain point, but she didn’t feel love for him, at least not yet.

Still, the main reason why she accepted his continuous flirting was Sev.

The year only started a few weeks ago and some bruises on Severine’s skin were still there. Her complexion always worsened during summer, Lily invited her to dinner a few times, but she couldn’t assist, she was too scared of the possible reaction of Mrs. and Mr. Evans for the bruises on her face and her black eye. So, they only could hang out in a park near their houses.

“He was upset with the owl when it delivered my O.W.L.s results” and that’s the only thing Severine said about the bruises.

Lily was tired of seeing her friend like this, summer was awful, but Hogwarts wasn’t the best either. Last year Sev went a total of ten times to the infirmary, mainly for some pranks the Gryffindor’s boys pulled on her. Exhausted of all of it Lily thought of a way to make Sev’s life in Hogwarts a little better, that’s when she came with the idea.

Maybe it was not the best idea in the world, but it could work. So, she decided to be James Potter’s girlfriend in order to keep her friend safe and sound. Apparently, it was working.

James turned out to be really cute and he kept his promise too, so Lily was satisfied with her decision.

She could finally find her friend at the library that afternoon, Friday was their designated “study day” so of course Sev would be there.

Severine was frantically taking notes of a book, mumbling to herself while chewing her lip.

“Sev, are you alright?” Lily’s voice took the tall girl out of her trance, her black eyes looked irritated by the intromission but quickly relaxed by the sight of the lovely Gryffindor.

“Yeah, Lils, everything’s fine... I thought you were going to be with Potter today”

“Yes, but today is Study day. And I already spent all day with him, besides, he had quidditch practice”

The other girl just let out a little sigh and went back to her reading, the red head wasn’t happy with it.

“Tell me what’s really going on, Sev” the girl in question just arched an eyebrow as an answer, Lily’s frown just got deeper “Don’t make that face like you don’t know what I’m talking about, you needed to talk to me before breakfast and you are skipping meals again. Don’t you dare to think I haven't noticed. Usually, you are like this after going home but it gets better after a few weeks, and this time it didn’t. So, tell me what is going on in that mind of yours”

Severine’s big eyes widened, then a small chuckle followed. “I think I owe you an explanation, I’m sorry” she straightened up in her seat and looked Lily in the eyes “This morning I wanted to tell you about this” she pointed the book on the table “Professor Riddle lent me this book, saying I needed to read it before his class on Monday, and make a three-foot length essay about it”

“Why would he want you to do that? You don’t need extra credit in his class, you got a straight O’s last year”

“I don’t think it’s extra credit, it’s more like… Extra knowledge. He said this book was difficult to comprehend and it’s not even in the class curriculum. It’s not a big deal though. He always gives me assignments like this.”

“Since when?”

“Fourth year, i think”

“And you never told me about this”

Severine’s pale face blushed. “I’m sorry, I didn't think I had to. Professor Riddle never said it was a secret, but he only gives them when we are alone.”

“Alone? When are you alone with him?” Lily’s mind started to imagine all types of disturbing scenarios.

“His office is in the way to the dungeons, sometimes when I’m on my way to the common room he invites me to drink a cup of tea. Normally he interrogates me about my classes and then he dismisses me with a new task. He’s very polite and would never do anything you are thinking about. At first, he terrified me, but now we get along. He’s really helpful when I have doubts about his classes or even in other ones.”

“You think he only wants to help you?”

Sev smirked “There’s always an ulterior motive Lils, but I still can't figure it out. Professor Riddle’s mind is complicated to say the least, sometimes I don’t know whether if I amuse him or bore him. His face doesn’t move when he speaks, and I have only seen him smile once”

“He smiled?”

“Yes, and about something absolutely ridiculous.”

“You have to tell me”

“Maybe in another time, now, the important thing. This book” Both girls fixed their eyes in the thick book, that thing was almost one thousand pages long. “I wanted to tell you about it because I came with an idea, you might be able to help me”

Lily closed the book, “Lycanthropy” was the only word written on the cover, not even the writer's name was able to be found.

“I know we already studied werewolves back in third year, but this book is different. It’s not about the dangers of being a werewolf, the book talks about it, but mainly the peers of being one. How you can hear and smell things other people can’t, how your physical strength is above any other human being even in your human form. But most importantly, it speaks about herbs used to counter some effects. I don’t even think people know about them, some seem extremely rare to find and others are right under our noses”

“What effects?”

“Pain during the transformation and wounds committed to themselves during the full moon. For what I know any scratch or bite obtained from a werewolf will leave a permanent scar, but this says that’s not actually true, not for werewolves at least.”

“So, if a werewolf injures another one or themselves, they wouldn’t have to live with a scar? that’s what you are saying?”

“Exactly! I would like to get those herbs to study them, maybe I could create a potion to improve their medicinal properties.”

Lily smiled at her friend, Severine was so cute when she talked about anything she was interested in. “And how are you going to get them?”

“I think some of these are able to be found in England, but I can tell they are not actually used for any magical potion I know, actually, muggles use them to create ointments and food. But there are other ones I’ve never heard about; I might ask professor Sprout about them”

“And why do you need my help?”

“I wanted to ask you if you could ask your parents to send you some of the herbs I need, they don’t sell those ingredients in Hogsmeade. Of course I’ll give them money to buy them. If they could help me I would be extremely grateful”

“Sev, there’s no problem, but... I know you don’t have much money”

“No, but Avery and Mulciber are a couple of idiots who are perfectly capable to give me money for doing some of their exceptionally easy assignments”

They laughed so hard they were shushed by Mrs. Pince. Both gave the woman apologetic smiles.

“So… This is the reason you have been weird all day?”

Severine chuckled, “Yes, I think so. I’m very interested in this.”

“I can tell” the redhead laughed, then she got serious “I really like that you have something like this on your mind but Sev-”

“Hey girls! what are you up to?”

Remus’ voice surprised both of them, as they saw him coming close to their table Snape quickly put her bag over the book, trying to hide it. Severine thought Lily didn’t notice, but the tall boy did, he didn’t mention it though.

“We were just talking about girly things, now we are going to study” Lily answered, maybe she did notice.

“Oh, do you have any assignments? I already finished mines”

“Then why do you pay us a visit, Lupin?” Severine’s question could be perceived as distasteful, but her grin and brilliant eyes expressed the opposite.

“Well… I still have to study” Lupin shrugged.

“Oh dang!” exclaimed Lily. “I forgot I have an exam next week! Be right back, I’ll go find a book”

With the redhead gone they remained in comfortable silence.

Severine continued writing in her already full parchment, while Lupin just pretended to read.

He didn’t know when his feelings for the skinny girl started to develop, the whole situation was so slow that he didn’t even notice it. But now it was like being hit by a bludger.

Severine was beautiful, not in a common way like Lily, but she was magnificent. Sometimes without noticing Remus held his breath while watching her. Her features weren’t delicate, they were sharp, she had a big arched nose, but suited perfectly to her face, her profile reminded him of pre-Raphaelite paintings. Her eyes were so black that every time she watched him directly it almost seemed they were absorbing him. Oh, those eyes! Remus could not tell how many times he had dreamt with those eyes, with the longer eyelashes around them or with her small mouth teasing him.

But Snape's beauty was not the only thing Remus worshiped about her. Severine was cunning and very smart, so smart to the point she discovered his condition without help. People say that curiosity killed the cat, in this case, he almost killed her.

That dreadful night was the cherry top on Remus’ self-deprecation.

He almost killed her, but she told nobody, the headmaster spoke with her that night, but for him that was meaningless- She could tell if she wanted to but she didn’t. She even gave him salves every month after the full moon, her own recipe she said. They weren’t friends at that moment and the only explanation she gave was “I’m just using you to check if they work” and they did, exceptionally well too. 'That’s her way of caring’, Remus’ heart filled with happiness every time that happened.

He had not realized his feelings towards the tall girl until the beginning of this year, most specifically, until two weeks ago. He knew he had strong feelings for her but was not able to give them an appropriate name. Until one day Lily asked him directly while they were in their common room.

“Rems, what’s your deal with Sev?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is just…’ His friends arrived at the room just in that moment, the redhead stiffened, `No, it’s nothing, don’t mind me” having said that she ran away. 

It was not an elaborated question, but Remus Lupin was no idiot, he knew what she meant. The next day he decided to evaluate his own behavior with Severine and with other girls he found attractive. And, oh, his body speaks for him.

He felt nothing after greeting other girls, no matter how pretty they were, he didn’t pay attention to any girl’s skirts like Sirius or Peter, he even understood James when he gave them a lecture about how important it is to find someone to love and worship like he did with Lily.

And when he finally saw her again, he felt it, his wolf growled in excitement and he felt at peace, pure comfort. Like coming back home after a long journey

It was so strange, but after realizing his feelings he saw her differently. He couldn’t help but find her mesmerizing, the way she played with her quill, or the way she bit her lips every time she was concentrated. He even found endearing the way her nails were uneven, decorating the top of her slender fingers.

And her scent, her scent bewitched him, she never wore cologne, so her fragrance was purely her. Remus found himself unable to describe the way her aroma affected him, the closest comparison would be a piece of chocolate cake lying in front of you, but, as famished as you are, you are unable to eat it. His primal instincts desired her, at least in that his inner self and himself were on the same page.

And now she was just beside him, oblivious of his feelings. Remus inhaled deeply just to catch a bit of her smell.

Severine moved uncomfortably on her seat and locked eyes with him. “Is something wrong, Lupin? I felt you were watching me since you arrived”.

“It’s nothing, I mean… it’s just… You’re so beautiful”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was of Remus and Lily but next will be about Sirius and Tom c:  
> I have to say it really annoys me when people give Snape a smaller nose on fanfics, idk why but it annoys me lol  
> Big noses are beutiful >:( every nose is beautiful, the only ugly one is Voldemort's lol  
> So, you should not feel insecure about your features, your race or your weight, that’s what makes you unique :^)
> 
> Again, sorry if I write poorly, this is not my first language, i will get better, i promise!
> 
> Pd: have a good day!


	3. Arousal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter too c: I'm so happy with all your comments and kudos! <3

Severine Snape blushed, her cheeks colored with a pale-ish tone of pink, almost unnoticeable if she wasn’t so pale.

“Don’t say stupidities, Lupin”

Remus chuckled, his cheeks on the other hand were crimson red, almost like a lighthouse signaling his feelings. Silence reigned between the two until Lily returned. She was always talking about the most random things.

The weekend passed without eventualities. Lily and James spent most of their time together to know each other while Remus was absent for at least three quarters of each day. Sirius got stuck with Peter, amd they were planning a way to spy on the girl’s changing room.

Lupin's disappearance left Black with an uneasy feeling, so on then second one, he and Wormtail decided to follow him. It would have been near impossible task without the aid of their map. When Sirius saw the place where Remus stopped and who he was with, his heart started to race. When they approached Remus' location Sirius asked Peter to leave.

“Can you do me a favour, Wormtail?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Can you get me a chocolate cake from the kitchens?”

“Why would you need that?”

“Something tells me Moony is going to skip dinner today. Just go, i’ll tell you what happened later”

“Alrighty, I’m going to get me some apple pie”

Ignoring Peter’s last words Sirius kept following Lupin. He found him on the astronomy tower, a strange place as it is, but the most confusing part of it was his company. He was sitting there besides Snape, the girl was surrounded by books and parchments while Remus only had a notebook on his lap. 

The Black heir approached them slowly, trying not to make a noise, he situated himself in an angle where he was able to look at the girl’s profile and Lupin’s back.

She was laughing, her mouth covered by her hand and red cheeks ‘I doubt I’ve ever listened to her laugh’ Sirius thought, it was a rich sound. Her voice in general was a wonderful sound, a little lower than most girls but way more charming than any. Black let out a sigh.

“Please don’t laugh at me, I truly thought you were part snake! Sirius was telling me that since first year and we were kids, of course I believed him!”

Snape tried to take some deep breaths to calm her laughter, unsuccessfully at first “You thought I was an animagus or something like that? I don’t think my face looks like a snake’s now does it?”

Remus’ chuckled “No, no, you don’t, you actually look like a dove sometimes” 

“A dove?”

“Yeah, because of your big eyes”

“In that case i should look more like an owl”

It was Remus’ time to laugh, the aura in the room was so light, the boy and the girl felt at peace, meanwhile the other boy in the shadows was more confused than ever.

Remus put his hand on top of the girl’s. They stayed like that for a long time without looking at each other. Sirius could see Severine’s blushed face. Surprisingly angry, Sirius made his way out, fortunately, he still retained some sense as he maintained his stealth as he left the tower.

As he expected, Remus skipped dinner and so did Snape. Wormtail was asking about what Sirius had seen but he just answer “He was studying, nothing interesting”

When Sirius went to sleep he couldn’t comprehend what had happened. 

‘Does he like her? Does she like him? Since when? Why didn't he say anything to us? Well, he tried to stop us from making pranks towards her but he never mentioned anything about liking her. Maybe he doesn’t like her at all, is he playing with her? Or is she playing with him? She could do that, she’s a bad person. Maybe she’s trying to manipulate him so we cannot do anything to her, but, why since Evans’ dating Prongs? It doesn’t make sense. What does he see in her? Is it because she is smart? Of course she is, there’s nothing new about it. It is for the way she talks? She had always talked like that, like you’re an idiot, like I am an idiot. Or is it for her eyes? She had those eyes, so captivating… Like a snake’s, taking your breath away with just a look. Maybe she gave him something, amortentia maybe? Could she do such a thing? But why Moony? I mean, I know he’s cute but not a lot of girls actually like him, not like me… What I’m thinking? Of course she would like Moony, he’s kind and always tried to protect her, not like… Me, like that one time I almost killed her in the full moon, of course he would like her, she even knows his secret. Wait, maybe that’s why he likes her, maybe he does not really like her, but she’s the only one who knows… The only one… No, Moony wouldn’t play with a girl like that, I think. But why didn't he tell us? Is she like a secret of his? Maybe he’s just embarrassed, liking such an ugly girl... She’s not really ugly though, if she just tried to fit in, why does she not try it? Why would she willingly be that ugly? Dressing like that, her skirt even reaches her knees, what girl uses a skirt to their knees? Nobody does that but her. Why doesn't she try to eat more? She likes to be that skinny? I would probably break her if I grab her too roughly. But she’s so fierce, when she’s angry her face is completely different to her usual arrogance, that arrogance slytherins have, she deserves it, she deserves the pranks and how everyone ignores her. She looks at us like we were inferior, just how purebloods act. I know she’s not one, but she wants to be one so desperately, that it angers me.”

He finally came to a resolution. He would figure out what she’s planning with Remus, because he is completely certain that she is planning something.

Next morning while they were in the great hall Sirius watched the girl leave early, really early. He excused himself to his friends and decided to follow the slytherin.

She was going to the DADA’s classroom. They shared that class during the first period. 

He finally reached her, she was all alone in that empty classroom, standing next to the professor’s table, looking at the door. She saw him arriving and she arched an eyebrow.

“Why are you here, Black?”

“I have class here”

“You’re not the type who arrive early to class”

“Well… I wanted to talk with you’ He approached her, she took a step back and felt the professor’s table on the back of her legs. ''What are you doing with Remus?” He was leaning towards her now, his hands at the table, right next to her tights

“What do you care about?”

“I care, he is my friend”

“You’re an awful friend, Black, did you know that? You didn’t even care about how he felt that time when you threw me straight into the Shrieking shack”

“You’re the one responsible for that! You went there knowing”

“How could I? I was only suspicious. But it doesn't matter now, What do you think I’m doing to Lupin that annoys you so much?”

“I saw you two yesterday”

“Are you stalking us now?”

“I was only following Remus and-”

Snape smirked “Oh my god, Black, I didn’t knew you were so obsessed with Lupin”

“It’s not that-”

“Then what? You’re obsessed with me now? You lost your main source of entertainment and now you’re desperately trying to see what I can do wrong? Grow up, Black, even Potter is acting like a human being.”

“You’re behind this aren’t you? Did you tell Evans to date James?”

“Come on, Black. You know Lily. No one can force her to do anything, and why would I want her to date him? I despise him almost as much as you”

Black shifted uncomfortable, Snape’s eyes were fixed on his gray eyes, while Sirius was looking at her tiny mouth “Can you just shut up?”

“You were the one asking’ Sirius leaned more, eyes still fixed on her lips, there was not anger in his posture anymore, but something else... Snape noticed his change ‘Black, what are you doing?”

Right in that moment Professor Riddle entered the classroom. The teenagers separated almost instantly. Snape pushed the boy away.

“Mr Black, can I ask you what are you doing? This is not acceptable behaviour” Professor Riddle's smile didn’t reach his eyes, he entered the room as he was speaking to the girl now “Miss Snape, you will offer me an explanation for this behaviour immediately”

“I’m deeply sorry for what you’ve just witnessed, professor. The only explanation I can give you is that Black was being insufferable and exceeding my boundaries” Snape’s hair was covering her embarrassed face. Sirius could not recall ever seeing her like this. He was amazed at how different she appeared to be with a professor and with someone like Remus, and then being so defiant with him.

“And what’s your excuse mister Black?” Professor Riddle’s piercing eyes locked onto his face. They were the same height but Sirius felt himself being shrunken by the professor’s aura with every step he took towards him.

“Excuse me, professor, I was just trying to fix some problems I had with Miss Snape, I may have acted a little rude trying to do so, my sincerest apologies.” Sirius looked at Snape’s expression of disbelief

‘I can be quite civilized when I have to’

Professor Riddle’s face rapidly changed to let them know he got bored “I need you to go now, come back when the class actually starts” 

Sirius was leaving when he noticed Snape wasn’t following him, she was frozen still in front of the professor, this one looked at him once again “haven’t I made myself clear, mister Black?” with that Sirius left, though he still was conflicted by leaving Sev alone with the professor.

“Miss Snape I have to admit, I'm deeply concerned about what I’ve just seen. A little disappointed if I’m honest. I didn’t expect you to be in a relationship with mister Black”

“Please, sir, do not misunderstand me, when I told you Black was trespassing my boundaries, that’s the truth. My relationship with him is just mutual hate”

“You have to admit that’s not what it seem”

“No, it did not” Severine let a sigh out of her lips “But either way, I don’t think I owe you explanations about my personal life, professor” Severine straightened and her eyes were pretty much challenging him.

“No, of course not. But i hope you comprehend my worries” The man went near her, with little to nothing of distance. She was taller than the average girl, but he was taller than her either way. He looked at her from above, he could feel her breathing unsteadily, and the warmth of her body almost enthralled him.

“Honestly, sir... I don’t” Her frown deepened, annoyed by his movements. Riddle did not care one bit.

“Well, Severine…’ he grabbed her chin with extreme delicacy. He leaned in, face to face, so close they were almost breathing the same air. His eyes focusing on her lips ‘I will not accept my top student being distracted by some brat” He let her go and situated himself behind the table, trying to put distance between them. ‘I need to calm down’ he said to himself. 

Severine moved in her place uncomfortable, her face was neutral but he could see how her hands were trembling ‘is she scared?... Maybe, I should behave’

“In any case, did you bring your essay, miss Snape?” Using her last name now felt wrong, but her name… He practically could savour it in his tongue. He almost tasted her lips, but that would be wrong, ‘She’s still a minor’ he remembered.

“Yes, it’s here” she handled him a thick parchment

He raised an eyebrow while opening it. “This is longer that I asked” 

“Yes, but I thought it would be fine considering the subject. Once you read it I would like to ask you some questions” He continued looking at her like saying she should continue talking “I’m interested in creating a potion using the ingredients pointed in the book, I suppose you could be able to localize them considering the fact that this book one of your creations”

Riddle smiled “How did you know that?”

“It was pretty obvious actually, the book had a lot of you in it. I never thought you would be interested in werewolves if I’m honest”

“I’m not, but I had to do some research for my N.E.W.T.S in my seventh year. Once they evaluated it they asked me to kept it a secret, they surely were afraid of the possibility that dark creatures could be interested on it”

“Who asked you that?”

“I’m pretty sure you already know that, Miss Snape”

Severine smiled for the first time since his arrival. The aura in the room was lighter once again, like in their past gatherings “Confirmation never hurts”

Riddle chuckled “That’s certainly true, I’m going to read your essay, be sure to go to my office on Friday night, the usual time of course. We’ll discuss everything there’ His expression changed the moment he felt students approaching the classroom ‘Please go to your seat, class is about to begin”

She started to go in her way but stopped half way out, turning her head towards his direction “Another thing, professor. Never do that again” Her big black eyes were fixed on his body and her words felt more or less like a stab to the chest, he didn’t express it though, he just smiled. 

“Of course... Miss Snape” Her rejection only aroused him.

Even if Severine seemed completely oblivious, she was aware of the three pairs of eyes looking at her.

She couldn’t decide if she was uncomfortable or pleased with the attention, maybe both, but she felt at the edge at every moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, what are your thoughts? Tell me everything.  
> This is going to be the last chapter without Sev's pov. I wanted to show you everyone's feelings towards Sev first c:  
> I hope you liked it!


	4. Conflicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm on my finals' week, soon i'll be free! wiii  
> I hope you like this chapter, i'm going to try to make the chapters longer if you like uwu
> 
> TW: mentions of child abuse and rape
> 
> I'm going to be honest, I did some research of warning signs of sexual abuse on children, and as a victim myself I do agree with several, so i think it could be the best to put some in here. In this page you can read about it, it's important for all of us to know the sings in order to protect our children umu https://www.rainn.org/articles/warning-signs-young-children

Severine Snape hasn't had an easy life.

Her father did not appreciate her mother, he made that very clear in the way he treated her, for him Eileen Snape was not a human being, in his own words she was “less than a rat” and “a filthy whore”, subsequently, he believed his daughter to be pretty much the same.

Tobias Snape is a violent and angry man with no empathy towards the opposite sex, he did not care about any women, so much in fact he despised them.

He was no different when Eileen met him, but she was desperate for human touch and in her disturbed mind he was simply perfect for her. 

Eileen Prince grew up in a house where blood supremacy and good manners were everything. She was beaten to unconsciousness every time she disobeyed an order, which happened all the time. As a house about to disappear, her family was desperate for other powerful house’s approval, and from time to time they made their younger members give comfort visits to anyone who required them.

Eileen Prince lost her mind at a young age, near the time she began to be forced to give pleasure to men old enough to be her grandfather. 

With the last of her sanity, she ran away with the first muggle she met. Once she married him she completely lost herself.

Sometimes she was aware of her surroundings but most of the time she was completely lost in an ocean of thoughts no one could comprehend, not even herself. During the day she absently cleaned the house and cooked, but if you tried to speak to her not a single coherent sound would come out of her mouth.

Tobias found out about her magic one time he was going to beat her, she pointed her wand at him and casted a protective spell, his body flew all the way across the room and he remained unconscious for a long time. When he woke up and demanded an explanation Eileen started to sing a senseless lullaby in response. 

Some time later she answered his query, her face no longer resembled a woman’s face, too bruised and swollen to be recognizable. Eileen explained everything she could recall, sealing her and her daughter’s fate.

When Severine arrived everything was quite ordinary for a time, they almost seemed like a normal couple; it did not last long, of course. 

Severine grew up in the middle of a horrific family, she had to take care of the cleaning and the cooking when her mother's condition deteriorated, Tobias didn’t treat her so badly back then, he just yelled at her when he felt like it. But when her magic started to show up he went crazy, and started to beat her too.

The young girl was seven years old when Tobias decided to lay a hand on her. He couldn’t do it with Eileen since every time he approached her, she screamed desperately and gave punches to the air. Consequently, he decided to use her daughter to relieve his sexual stress.

Severine tried to say no, she even screamed when it happened, cried her eyes out and begged him to stop, but he didn’t listen, and never did. 

After raping her the man acted like nothing happened, like he did not just traumatized his child for life, he did not care about the little girl feelings, and neither for her wellbeing. 

Severine developed several stomach aches during that time, leading to a change her eating habits. 

Even as a poor family they never had serious problems buying food, but they didn’t have plenty either, so the little witch always enjoyed every meal like it was her last, but after her father’s visits to her room at night everything changed. She stopped eating, every meal she ingested made her want to puke, and she got reprimanded every time she vomited.

The horror went on for six months, until Eileen stopped screaming and once again became docile, perhaps she snapped back to defend her daughter, but Severine was unsure if her insanity allowed her that moment of lucidity, either way, she appreciated it. 

Sadly, her body changed in a horrific way, she was no longer able to eat properly considering she was full with barely the minimum, having a really skinny figure because of that. But not only that, if she was an extremely shy kid before, now she isolates herself entirely.

Nobody paid attention to her change, not even her teachers at school, not a single soul showed her sings of kindness.

Her childhood was the main reason she didn’t trust people, until she met Lily. Only then she began to give people a chance.

Some time later, and by making the effort, Severine found out Remus was actually a good guy, he was always asking about her wellbeing and protecting her, it was nice for a change.

His friends were insufferable, as always. But at least they tried to be decent, and they were. Potter and Pettegrew shared some words with her every time they met but no further than that, Black on the other hand kept his distance. 

Remus made her spend time with his friends and Lily, dragging her to conversations or inviting her just to hang out with all of them.

It was uncomfortable at the beginning, especially for the amount of times Remus’ friends pulled pranks on her. They never were harming enough, but still , even if she lost count of how many times she fighted with Black. The commentaries they made about her lack of beauty never affected her, they couldn’t be compared to the insults she received in the slytherin common room. They were simply exhausting, a rash she was never able to take off.

Although, the act Severine resented the most was the full moon prank of the last year, that hurted her ego in a way she could never repair. 

She always suspected it, but wasn’t able to fully trust in herself for how ridiculous it was. Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts letting a dark creature such as a werewolf attending classes among his beloved gryffindors? Even now it sounded laughable. Still, it was true.

The witch doesn’t know when she began to notice Lupin’s weird behaviour, it was perhaps during their third year. The self called Marauders already started to play their pranks so she needed to be aware of her surroundings, but she always stared Lupin and Black more hardenly. The last one because he is an arse and she wanted to avoid him, but with Lupin, well. Remus Lupin was certainly interesting. 

His actions always changed according to the time of the month. Sometimes he was extremely calm and peaceful. On the other hand, there were some days when he was exactly the opposite, he seemed full of life and youthful. He was a touchy person, always hugging his friends, and taking care of them, he was obviously the mom friend of his group. 

And there were some days when he was somehow hostile, but not towards other people, if not to himself. He succumbed into self pity and isolated himself. 

Severine caught him several times in that state, hiding himself in a corner where nobody could find him. With his hands holding his hair in a fist and his elbows resting in his knees. She never interfered, just looked at him from afar ‘Maybe we are not that different’ she thought one time.

After dedicating some time to follow Lupin’s movements it was crystal clear the guy’s true nature, but she could be wrong.

“You’re a coward, you’re just trying to get us spelled. Well, if you want that so much why don’t you go to the shrieking shack tonight? There you’ll find Remus’ secret” Black screamed at her one time, she caught him and Pettegrew stealing food from the kitchens and in the middle of the discussion the gryffindor revealed to her the crucial information.

‘Confirmation never hurts’ she thought at the moment.

It almost did, though. 

When she walked through the path under the whomping willow she was able to hear Lupin’s moaning. Severine hesitated ‘Maybe I should go back’ she said to herself, but her curiosity and Lupin’s sobs agitated her soul. She continued, not listening to her survival instincts. 

She found herself face to face with the young man's distressed expression, the one who’s immediately changed into horror at her sight. 

Remus’ face filled with fear, the moonlight sweeping through the cracks on the wood shined in the boy’s body. His mouth opened trying to say something but nothing came out of it, he saw her standing under the door’s frame and her eyes opening in shock, her pale skin illuminated by the moon gave her an ethereal form, in any other circumstance Remus would be delighted to see her like that, but not when he was about to lose all his senses.

There was no more of the teen’s kind face after a second. Light brown eyes turned into golden glowing orbs who looked at her with anger.

The girl’s heart pounded in her ears as the wolf opened it’s big mouth in her direction. She was so terrified she couldn’t even think of a defending spell, just stood there letting a sight escape from her lips.

What happened next it’s blurred in her memory, in a second she saw Potter and then she was being dragged through the path, a strong grip on her forearm left a bruise that lasted a few days.

In the moment she felt the grass under her feet and the cold breeze of the night, she let her emotions go out.

She was so scared, terrified you could say. Her whole body was trembling while she couldn’t contain the tears falling down her face. She hugged herself in an unsuccessfully attempt to feel safe.

She felt weak, fragile, vulnerable… Broken. Exactly how she has felt her whole childhood, unable to defend herself. 

Potter’s arms held her for a time, his hand rubbed circles in her back and he whispered soft words to her ear “Everything’s fine now, you’re safe” he repeated several times, as a mantra, maybe for him too.

Inside, she wanted to run and hide in her common room, but as a person who has never actually been held, she let it be, just letting a man who made her life impossible for years hold her in his arms. Potter’s citric smell made her think of the summer, his smell was like Lily’s, like juicy oranges used to make fresh juice, that juice Mrs Evans offered them after a day of playing together in the park, so she cried, imagining being surrounded by the only people who ever treated fairly. 

She wiped loudly, she had never let anybody see her in a state like that, not even Lily, but in that moment Potter did, and later Black too. 

Apparently he was worried about his friend, and went after him some time after Potter left their room. Black witnessed her in the most fragile and broken moment of her life wrapped in his best friend’s arms.

Seeing them from afar Black’s heart rate accelerated, he felt his heartbeat on his ears, his stomach flipped making him feel his bile on his throat. Sirius Black ran, as fast as he could, to catch the couple sitting hugged on the grass. He kneeled besides them and cupped her face in his hands. 

“Sniv- Snape, are you okay?”

The calloused hands of the Black heir on her cheeks and the conflicted tone of his voice made Severine come back to reality, all her body tensed as she felt cold. She yelled at him, pushing away Potter and confronted the other boy directly “Okay!? Do you think I’m okay, you insufferable arse!? How am I going to be okay if I was almost killed by a werewolf!? If you wanted me dead you could as well do it yourself! You coward!”

Every sight of worry in Black’s face vanished immediately being replaced with irritation. She didn’t let him reply to her insults, quickly she left, leaving an angry gryffindor behind.

At the beginning of the next school year Black and Potter tried to prank her once again, apparently they wanted to use her levicorpus spell against her. Remus stopped them at the time.

Their relationship changed after Lily started dating Potter. Severine accepted her friend's relationship with Potter mostly because of his actions that dreadful night. He was an idiot, but he protected the ones in need, like her in that time. 

Black on the contrary, was the type of person she hated the most, saying how he despised everything related to slytherin but acting exactly like one.

Still, she didn’t trust them, any of them. Even if Lupin could look so innocent and charming, she couldn’t trust him, even if she knew his secret. Maybe that was it, because she knew his secret she couldn't trust him. People tend to act desperate when their secrets are in the game.

Potter was simple to comprehend, he liked to play the hero, he wanted to be admired by others and have control. Even if he didn’t understand it he always played the “good boy” role, his pranks just were a way to be remembered. Pettigrew was even easier, he just followed the leaders of the moment, if Potter and Black weren’t so popular probably he wouldn’t feel the need to agree with them all the time, he wanted to be accepted and feared rejection. Black in the other hand was a chaotic person, she didn’t understand him most of the time but being near Regulus gave her an idea of how rich people acted, and Sirius Black was the personification of a rebel rich boy, he was the mixture between Slytherin and Gryffindor, the stupid bravery of the second and acting behind the shadows of a Slytherin; Family costumes don’t wipe out so easily.

And there was Remus Lupin, he had a peaceful aura that didn’t match his friend group, neither his true nature. He was calm and never spoke for himself, with a fear of rejection that could fight Pettigrew’s. Severine knew it was because of his condition, he felt attached to those insufferable boys, but at the same time she couldn’t understand what he needed of them to the point of not being able to speak freely.

One of the reasons why she didn’t trust Lupin was exactly that, she doubted he could tell her things directly, and she would be flustered.

Severine knew Lupin liked her more than a friend, even if he was too shy to tell her directly, but the girl hadn’t sorted her feelings for him, and she was aware of Black’s attraction towards her, even if himself denied it. 

The slytherin girl was no fool, and from a young age she learned to read people, living among snakes and having a childhood like her own makes you learn things harshly. But her own feelings sometimes were harder to comprehend.

She wasn’t capable of comprehending why she was attracted to those two boys, fully knowing they are not a good choice for her, she kinda hated one of them. 

But sitting there, on the back of the library, with Lupin at her side, the boy trying to touch her every chance he had, made her feel something unrecognizable. Does she liked Remus Lupin romantically? or does she only wanted to be liked? to be treasured? Even if she couldn’t trust Lupin, Severine was completely certain of one thing, Remus Lupin would worship her. Her heart and ego trembled at the possibility. She imagined herself on the situation, of dating Remus Lupin, “he would treat me like a crystal glass, Remus would be tender, asking for my permission for everything. He has to incline to kiss me though, he is really tall after all” The black haired girl left a little laugh left her lips by the thought Remus looked at her direction “How his lips would feel? Would he taste like chocolate?” Severine observed to the boy at her side, recording on her memory the way of his eyes looked at her with tenderness, how his smile widened and the golden glow on the boy’s iris, Severine inclined her body to the boy’s direction, smelling the air around him, she noticed how his body tensed and his cheeks blushed even more, but he didn’t move away, he did exactly the same as her, he smelled her. He tends to do that very often, mostly near the full moon, but now they were closer to each other so he did it more.

Black was something completely different, he wouldn’t treat her softly like Remus would, he would be harsh and passionately. He wouldn’t ask for her opinion, everything he wanted he would get it, because that’s a rich boy’s life, that was Sirius Black life. “He can get anyone he wants” He was know of having dated almost every girl of their age, according to everyone, nobody can resist him.

Sirius was like her father, he would not ask, just command, she would suffer and he wouldn’t mind. He would push her down and would not care about her feelings, he would not care if she screams, if she begs him to stop, she can be weeping and would not care. He never cared about her for all this years, he didn’t mind if she was hurt with every prank he made, every commentary. He never cared and never will, every year was worse, after any holiday he didn’t cared how broken she felt after spending time in her own family, he didn’t care, but when anybody cared? Nobody gave a damn, no Dumbledore, no McGonagall, no Sprout, if nobody cared maybe she just didn’t matter. That was it, wasn’t it? Wasn’t she just nothing? Nothing at all, nobody cared, no one does, and no one will.

‘I don’t matter’

“Sev, are you okay?” Remus’ face was twisted with preoccupation, his eyebrows frowned along with worriedsome eyes. He was holding her hand between both of his own, caresing it, like trying to give comfort.

The girl’s eyes widened at the interruption, she looked across the room and then focused on the person in front of her “Yes, I’m fine, I just... I was lost on my mind” she told the truth, Severine was too focused on the course of her thoughts she didn’t notice she didn't react for a long time, focusing on a point on the horizon instead of her surroundings. She shook her head trying to go back at her current self.

Severine sighed loudly before checking the time “Oh, I have to meet Professor Riddle in his office” 

“It’s okay” Remus’ smiled and helped her to gather her belongings.

“See you soon, Lupin” the girl said before starting to walk away.

“Sev, wait!” Remus’ hand held her wrist in order to stop her. Once she turned around he closed the distance between them, placed his hand on her chin and make her look at him straight into his eyes. Both teens felt their heartbeats racing while their breathing became unstable. The gryffindor leaned until his lips found her cheek, sandalwood and chocolate mixed in the air, for a moment, just for a moment, she felt normal, a normal girl with an accelerated heart for a boy’s kiss, similar to the feeling she had when they were studying on the astronomy room and they held hands for a while. Severine Snape wanted to feel like that forever.

But he leaned back and put distance between them once again, the young man’s face resembled an extremely red tomato “See you soon” he said with a conflicted voice and a shy smile, Severine just smiled at response before running away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again uwu i hope you enjoyed the capter lololol
> 
> I did not want it to be more visual about the particular act, i don't think it's necesarily to describe it to know how Sev felt, at least that's what i thought, tell me if you think otherwise.
> 
> Well, in another subject, i want to make a Regulus x fem Snape fanfic, it will be post hogwarts and they want to marry eachother, but they are death eaters too so everything is complicated, considering Reg never wanted to be one and Voldemort takes too many liberties with Sev. Reg wants to defeat Voldemort from the insides but neither he or Sev trust on Dumbledore to help them. So that would be the plot of the first chapter of the fic, can you tell me if you like it? pleeease? if you do i would start writing it right away lmaoo

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! English is not my first language so this is a little difficult for me jeje  
> I hope you enjoyed!


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